1.Chick Singers
Well this bald headed girl I know sent me a tape of Bjork and
Courtney
Love
And PJ Harvey, called it brilliant women
I put it in my car, heard it all the way down to the coast
Normally if left to my own devices I don't hear chich singers
much
I guess it's guys I hear the most
Sometimes these days don't it seem like it's enough for
girls to love a girl or
use the f word prominently
masturbate in public or
learn guitar tied up to a post
I thought of all this hearing Bjork and Courtney Love and PJ
Harvey
In my car driving to the coast
Tori Amos, Liz Phair, Sinead O'Connor, Suzanne Vega, Jill
Sobule,
Melissa Etheridge,
Tracy Chapman, Ani Difranco, Michelle Shocked
Everyone of them has something kind of special that I like
But every now and then while listening to them I feel like when
we were
kids
I pulled their hair or stole their bike
These days it seems like there's a lot of girls who sing and
some of
them are good and
Some of them are not, but it's always kind of cool that
Moment when they first step to the mike
If I was a girl I could sing real high and also then I'd know
what
having
Breasts would be like
Chick singers
Chick singers
Chick singers
I started thinking 'bout
Kate Bush, Patsy Cline, Billy Holiday, Janis Joplin, Bessie
Smith, Patti
Smith,
Annie Lennox, Chrissie Hynde, and Bonnie Raitt
Seems like there's an awful lot of women in whose honor I would
Like to raise my glass to in a toast
Some of them are still alive and some I hear their voices like a
ghost
Maybe next Thursday I'll throw a party and invite every woman
that
Ever sang a song, oh, this would be a party that I think I would
like to
be the host
Thanks to the bald headed girl I know whose tape of Bjork and
Courtney
Love and PJ Harvey I heard driving to the coast
Chick singers
Chick singers
Chick singers
2.Cure For Aids
The day they found a cure for AIDS
The day they found a cure for AIDS
Everybody took one little pill and was okay
The day thay found a cure
The day they found a cure for AIDS
Everybody took one little pill and was okay
I slept with Cindy and Martha and Sue
I slept with Julie, Melissa and Kate
The day thay found a cure
The day they found a cure for AIDS
Everybody took one little pill and was okay
The people who had plotted to get rid of all the gays
Admitted their guilt and everything was fine
Everybody else said, I din't know
The day they found a cure
For 6 months, no one went to work, they all had orgies
Morning after pills were sold in grocery stores and gas stations
The day they found a cure for AIDS
Everybody took one little pill and was okay
We rented dirty movies and ordered out for food
For 3 solid weeks everyone I met was nude
I slept with Julie, Melissa and Jake
Nobody was afraid
The day they found a cure
The day they found a cure
The day they found a cure, for AIDS
3.Jesus Freak
Stay where you are
Plenty room for both of us
And I don't want you to come any closer
Than you are right now
Because Jesus was a Jesus freak
Jesus was a Jesus freak
Jesus was a Jesus freak
And I'm just looking for a place to
Watch the world from
Watch the world from
Watch the world from
Million miles of sand
And a trillion miles of water
And you might make me go against my will, but you'll
Never make me come
Because Jesus was a Jesus freak
Jesus was a Jesus freak
Jesus was a Jesus freak
And I'm just looking for a place to
Watch the world from
Watch the world from
Watch the world from
I go to work
Do my job the best I can
When I'm through I don't owe no one
Anymore than that
So, stay where you are now
Plenty room for both of us
And I don't want you to come any closer
Than you are right now
Because Jesus was a Jesus freak
Jesus was a Jesus freak
Jesus was a Jesus freak
And I'm just looking for a place to
Watch the world from
Watch the world from
Watch the world from
4.Monica
I remember Monica
At the US Open
She mighta been 16
Couldn't've been much more
Answering some questions
And giggling, I'd never seen
Someone so alive on TV before
Do you remember Monica
Shrieking on her backhand
Disguising herself as she went out at night
Coloring her hair
Like someone was telling her
Lay low, invisible, and out of sight
And then, Monica
The blade came, Monica
Like God spitting on you, a knife in your back
We read it in the paper
Then moved on to other things
But for you all the colors, fade to black
And oh, Monica
There you are, Monica
On the cross with Jesus and Martin Luther King
Just like John Lennon, by that hotel
You have to pay for our sins
Was it like being raped？
Was it like being dead？
Like a bad movie over and over again？
And then, did everyone who came close to you
Suddenly hold a knife in their hand？
And now you're back, Monica
Grim and hammering
Trying not to think about that thing, then
And I hope that you win
Every medal you can win
But it may never be much fun again
And oh, Monica
There you are, Monica
On the cross with Jesus and Martin Luther King
Just like John Lennon, by that hotel
You have to pay for our sins
Just like Jesus, by that hotel
You will have to pay for our sins
5.No Missing Link
They look for the missing link
There's no missing link
They'll never find the missing link
There's no missing link
We're not something you can figure out with an equation
We are the genetic muation
Aliens came and fucked the monkey, they fucked the monkey
Aliens came and fucked the monkey, they fucked the monkey
Darwin tried explaining it, Darwin did the best he could
Evolution, pretty theory,
But how could Darwin know
That aliens came and fucked the monkey, they fucked the monkey
Aliens came and fucked the monkey, they fucked the monkey
How else explain fax machines
How else explain computer enhancement
How else explain fiber optics
How else explain Mozart
We do not belong here, this planet was a terrarium
Intergalactic broken home, have to go to outer space
And one day find our daddy-
How else explain pay at the pump
How else explain limited access freeways
How else explain digital remastering
Plastic flowers, linoleum, beefalo
Michael Jordan
Religion, astronomy, astrology
That looks to the stars
We do not belong here
This planet was a terrarium
Seven billion bastards
Screaming for our daddy
Aliens came and fucked the monkey, they fucked the monkey
Aliens came and fucked the monkey, they fucked the monkey
6.Oh Sister
They say you taught me how to talk
Bet you wish you taught me how to stop
you're far away now, wish I could take a walk with you someplace
you explained me to our parents
English wasn't their first language
They spoke German, hated Germans
confusing times
Oh sister
down midwest backseat bumpy seats
you sang my beatles songs with me
I sang your Broadway melodies, bad harmony
and where would Willie Mays have been
without Jackie Robinson
and who can say what I'd been
without you to lead the way
after I showed some guys I could drink
You picked me of the lawn I think
And led me to the kitchen sink
Where I got rid of it
Some nights I lay awake in awe
As squinting through the dark I saw
You peeling off your teenage bra
The door slightly ajar
Oh sister
You lived just across the hall
For 18 summers, 18 falls
until you went away to that weird college in Wisconsin
and where would Willie Mays have been
without Jackie Robinson
and who can say what I'd been
without you to lead the way
trust yourself, and you can do anything
this I give to you
May your heart purr like a bumblebee
May all your backyards have a tree
May you always be HIV negative
I hope you meet some guy who
Treats women better than I do
I don't even care if he's a Jew or not
Oh sister
I remember in the temple hall
at out dear father's funeral you sang like a nightingale
one of his own songs
and where would Willie Mays have been
without Jackie Robinson
and who can say what I'd been
without you to lead the way
7.One Thing Real
I come down the steps
I slip on the ice
Santa Claus been lookin'
Who's been naughty, who's been nice
I'm lookin' for one thing real tonight
Jesus, he comes up to me, Jesus, he sits down
Says take this fuckin' cross off my back, I'm goin' downtown
I say aw, but ain't that your uniform
He offers me a toke
Says 2000 years is long enough for this particular joke
He says I'm lookin' for one thing real tonight
I'm up here singin' these songs every night
Sometimes I wanna just make 'em all up on the spot
Maybe they wouldn't rhyme too good, they might not make sense
But then at least I wouldn't be repeating myself
I'm lookin' for one thing real tonight
And you're the one I've chosen
And I guess you've chosen me
Let's turn off the commercials
Let's turn off the TV
How well can we get to know
Each other in an hour
We can fight the daylight
We have that power
I'm lookin' for one thing real tonight
Van Gogh sits next to me, with a bucketful of paste
He rips off my ear and says glue this to my face
I'd like to leave America for someplace where they would
Not know a word of English and I might be understood
I'm lookin' for one thing real tonight
8.Rolling Away
Your hand is between my legs
The dog is between our bodies
as I wake up
You are rollin' from me
I am rollin' from you
Time to join a new religion
Time to overthrow the state
Time to demand all my beliefs are in a new constitution
I can't stop you from cryin'
but sometimes, I can lick away your tears
If you look in someone's eyes
more than two seconds now
you better be prepared to fight
I got too much fear
And too much neglect of magical things
I am rollin' from you／you are rollin' from me
We are rollin' away
I caught a cold and for two days straight
my ears have been plugged up
as if my body's saying'
you don't need your ears
you don't listen anyways
we need more nose jobs
we need more hair relaxers
more magazine's tellin us
there's something wrong with your face
there's something wrong with your face
there's something wring with your face
I am rollin' from you／you are rollin' from me
We are rollin' away
some wild creature has taken command
I gave him the keys and now he's stompin' thru
the house
he has a very busy itinerary
and he does not have time for you
I wish I could give you everything
all of me just like before
this last time together
we did everything 'cept fight
aw we used to fight so good
I am rollin' from you／you are rollin' from me
We are rollin' away
I see beautiful actresses with terrible scripts
and I want to write 'em all a great one
oh don't worry baby
I'll write you one too
But I'll also write one for Andie McDowell
I'd love to trade places with a dog for a day
To know what he thinks and what he feels
Does he think about life
Does he think about God
Or just about his next meal like us？
So often these days
Eating Indian food
passes for spirituality
I don't meditate
I don't pray
But I eat two somosas every day
go down Moses
go down on me
I do not have the strength to fight
I only pray you treat me gently
these are long, cold nights
You are rollin' from me
I am rollin' from you
We are rollin' away
I cry every day
but beauty shows up where you least expect to find it
You are rollin' from me
I am rollin' from you
We are rollin' away
You are rollin' from me
I am rollin' from you
We are rollin' away
9.Suzanne
Someday you'll walk where I am
And then you'll see my footprints left in the sand
I feel you moving in my wake
So please try to learn from my mistakes
Do not judge from where you stand
Someday you will understand
I want what's best for me and you
And I know that you want it too, Suzanne
Suzanne, I know someday you'll understand
Suzanne, I know someday you'll understand
As you sit there in the shade
And reflect on the choices that I have made
Just remember what I've done
Has been done in the glare of a blinding sun
Someday you will understand
Someday you'll reach out your hand
Someday I will shout your name
And I know you'll be shouting the same, Suzanne
Suzanne, I know someday you'll understand
Suzanne, I know someday you'll understand
Suzanne
Suzanne
Suzanne
Suzanne
I hope I don't sell you short
Maybe you see it clear from your far-off port
But I can't look back and check
With every step I risk my neck
Someday when your sky is blue
You'll know what I've left to you
Then you'll know what you must do
And you'll know that my heart has been true, Suzanne
Suzanne, I know someday you'll understand
Suzanne, I know someday you'll understand
Suzanne
Suzanne
Suzanne
Suzanne
10.Tiger Woods
I got big balls
Big old balls
Big as grape fruits
Big as pumpkins
Yes sir, yes sir
and on my really good days
they swell to the size of small dogs
my balls are as big as small dogs
well it ain't braggin' if it's true
yes sir, yes sir
Muhammad Ali said that
back when he was a young man
back when he was cassius clay
before he fought too many fights
and left his brain inside the ring
and sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
Yeah I got a friend whose goal in life
was to one day go down on Madonna
that's all he wanted, that was all,
to one day go down on Madonna
and when my friend was 34, he got his wish in Rome one night
He got to go down on Madonna
In Rome on night in some hotel
and ever since he's been depressed
his life is shit from here on in
and all our friends just shake their heads
and say too soon, too soon, too soon
he went down on Madonna too soon
too young, too young, too soon, too soon
and it ain't braggin if it's true
yes sir, yes sir
no it ain't braggin' if it's true
Muhammad Ali said that
back when he was a young man
back when he was cassius clay
before he fought too many fights
and left his brain inside the ring
and sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
If certain girls don't look at you
It means that they like you a lot
If other girls don't look at you, it just means they're ignoring
you
how can you know
how can you know
which is which, who's doin' what
I guess that you can ask 'em
Which one are you baby
Do you like me or are you ignoring me
Do you like me or are you ignoring me
And all you need to do that
Is one big pair of big balls
Balls as big as grapefruits
Balls as big as pumpkins
Balls as big as mine
But even though my balls are big
Sometimes I wish they were bigger
Even bigger
Big as the wheels on a tractor
Big as the golden arches
Big as the golden gate bridge
Big as the state of Kansas
Big as Mars and Jupiter
Big as the swing of Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
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